Home at last; reflections of a new mom

Bringing Arthur home was both terrifying and exciting. Having camped out at the hospital every waking moment (not to mention a lot of sleeping moments as well!) to be near our baby for a week, I was overjoyed at the thought of having him home with us and being able to care for him and comfort him in a way that every new mother longs to. I vowed that I would be there for him every second and that I would make up for all the time he had to spend alone in the hospital. I couldn't get enough of holding him, and watching him sleep- I was in love! I had always heard new moms talking about thier babies with such rapture that part of me worried about that 'motherly' love never kicking in for me. But just one look from this little boy and my heart melts. The fact that I would do anything for him was never even a decision, it was just a new knowledge that came along with my roll as a mother. But even armed with the overwhelming love that I felt for him, I can't deny that I was completly terrified as well. Each time he cried a wave of inadequacy washed over me and I panicked inside. What could I do? What did he need? How was he feeling? The new mom jitters hit hard. Thankfully, after a few long phone calls to my mom and lots of loving encouragement from Chris I regained a sense of confidence and stepped up to the task. The more time I spent with Arthur the 'easier' it became to soothe him and care for him and the more I learned to just enjoy the little moments together as I began to bond with him.