Unexpected

Originally the title for this post was inspired by the letter 'U' from last week's preschool endeavors. It is rather fitting actually because I can't think of a better word to describe the events of the last month in our lives. Unexpected just about sums it up. A month ago, on Saturday September 8th, I was on the phone with my mom. She had sent a cute card for the kids that we had just recieved in the mail so I called her to thank her and to give Arthur a chance to say hello to her. I quickly let her know why I was calling and handed the phone to Arthur. He thanked her and then ran off with more interest in playing than having a long phone conversation. So that was that and I got back on the phone to say goodbye. She was out on a Harley ride with my dad. They have both been extensive Harley riders for the last 7 years and great drivers. Their motorcycles are their best loved hobby, pastime, and chosen stress reliever as well as one of their favorite ways to spend time together. My mom had her cell phone linked to a communication system in her helmet so that she could talk to me while she rode. As the kids vied for my attention and a list of a dozen Saturday morning chores that needed doing ran through my mind I was eager to not be on the phone, but for a split second I had the words "keep talking to her" run through my mind. Unexpected.
So, I began to ramble on about this and that. Some new recipes I've been trying, healthy eating, Chris' school applications, etc. Mom loves a good catch up so it was nice to spend a little while chatting on the phone. We talked for about thirty minutes and then started to say our goodbyes. Dad had been trying to radio her she said but she didn't answer because she was on the phone with me, so they were going to pull off and regroup. She was following behind him and watched for him to slow down and pull off so that they could talk. She said she would call me later that day and the last thing I heard was "goodbye". I hung up and went about my morning not having any idea that the second after she hung up she slowed down to make a turn and was hit from behind by an F-350 truck doing 65mph who never hit the brakes. Unexpected.
It wasn't until 30 minutes later that I got a call from my sister in law to let me know that she had been hit and was being Air Flighted to the nearest ER. What was I doing during that 30 minutes? Well, for one, I was taking a pregnancy test. Unexpected. It was positive. Unexpected.
The following minutes and hours all sort of blur together. I got on a plane and flew straight to TX where my mom was on life support in critical condition in the ICU of the hospital in San Antonio. I spent the next 11 days there riding the waves of emotions and nausea all at once. For over four weeks now my mom has been in that ICU some days improving, some days...not. But everyday fighting for her life. Her neck was broken at the top two vertebrae. Many other complications have contributed to her condition and make it an overwhelming battle everyday. Unexpected. Unexpected. Unexpected.
A lot has been written in updates by my family about her and how she is doing day to day, so I won't catalog it all here. Needless to say my initial visit was incredibly difficult and draining emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and physically. I came home to my amazing husband who had taken care of every thing at home, the kids, and his job in my absence with the help and support of family and ward members.
On Monday this week I was scheduled to have my first appointment with the midwife. Things went well there. I was nearly 9 weeks and feeling very pregnant! She suggested that we do an early ultrasound just to double check my calculated due date. I told her I was booked to fly back to TX to be with my mom today, Wednesday the 10th. So she expedited the process and got me scheduled for an ultrasound yesterday morning. Chris dropped me off for the appointment and took the kids to a nearby park to wait for me to finish. During the course of the ultrasound a couple of things became very clear; the baby measured right at 9 weeks along, and there was no detectable heartbeat. Unexpected. After two thorough ultrasounds it was confirmed that our sweet baby had died within the last few days when its heart had stopped. Unexpected. It was a very emotional day for us and we felt the love of friends, family, and most importantly- the Lord as we grieved this loss.
Today I went in for a same day surgery to remove everything 'left over' from the pregnancy. My flight was cancelled and now I am focused on recovering enough to get back to see Mom soon.
I am so thankful that at this time of many big unexpected moments in our lives we have the gospel and each other to lean on. We are trying to carry on with the daily things of life that have to go forward- taking care of the kids, finishing preschool with Arthur, church callings, etc... and we are praying everyday for the strength to carry on and the understanding to grow from these experiences.
I have taken some pictures of the kids lately, and of our letter 'U' week that I will add to this post later. In the meantime, thanks to everyone who has been thinking of us and offered support and love. It means the world to our family!